This story is not a highlight of my leadership but rather a very low point. As I read the Bible I see that God shows us not just the good but the bad and ugly of certain of our godly heroes. I have definitely thought how could they do that, or why would they grumble and complain again and again, I would never do that or..would I.
God uses the sinful people to accomplish His will because we need Him. We mess up and sin and fall flat on our face but we call out to him and He is graceful to restore us.
I was helping one of my children deal with their attitude when I was reminded of this story, and how attitudes are a sin and how they can actually kill as I showed my scar to them. My scar was the result of my bad attitude, not just a bad attitude but a rotten stink'n, no good sinful attitude.
The perfect storm
I was in the Solomon Islands co-leading an outreach, and I was being challenged by the heat and living with 20 or so young adults in cramped quarters. After living in community for so long mess is something you should come to expect, people don't always put their stuff away or wash up after themselves. I myself am far from perfect at this however on this day I had reached my point and I began to grumble.
I looked at all the dish piles around the house and rather than thank the Lord I wallowed in my pity and resentment began to fester. I am standing over top of the sink washing countless dishes and I was steaming mad under my breath thinking "they are flipping adults and they can't even wash their own dishes....." I let my mind and attitude get worse rather than "taking every thought captive and rendering them obedient to Christ" like it tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:5.
Then it happened, I was drying a glass cup and rather than gently put it down on the counter I forcefully went to put it down but I misjudged the counter. Instead of putting it down I smashed the cup on the side of the counter. Immediately the cup shattered and one of the pieces broke into a dagger and all I saw was this glass dagger heading towards my foot. It sliced my foot open and blood began to burst forth. Now there was broken glass all over the floor and my foot instantly became soaked in blood and I fell to the floor in horror screaming.
The ironic thing is the very people that I was upset at and having an attitude towards came to my rescue. Within seconds of hearing the commotion they were bringing bandages, a chair to sit on, rushing to get me a taxi since an ambulance wasn't possible and then even carrying me to the taxi.
God's mercy
Here I am bleeding profusely, waiting for a taxi to arrive at our house but God in His mercy had on our team a Marine who knew wounds and was able bandage me up to hopefully stop the bleeding as we did not know how long it would be before I would see a doctor. It is at this moment he looks at where my cut was and remarks "a cm or two over and you would have hit a major artery and it could have been goodbye Genevieve."
God likes to humble the proud and boy was I humbled. Here I was ungrateful for my team, I was wallowing in my sinful attitude and it was my very team that had to care for me. I couldn't walk after I got stitches nor could i wash my dishes but they loved me and took care of me and even helped to clean my wound.
It is amazing that through this whole ordeal that God didn't abandon me in my sin. He protected first my life and also my leg from infection. Many of our previous teams returning from the Solomon Islands would come back with staph infection from simple cuts.
Now here I had a gaping wound and I was scheduled to go live on a remote island that had no doctor on it and heaps of bugs and who knows what else, in two days. My team kept my wound clean from infection and they even helped me to remove the stitches from the cut when it was time (what else do you do when there is no doctor around).
Sin is sin
My attitude was sin! It was dreadful and I can still remember it to this day. Sure I could rationalize it and say it was all their fault but I need to take blame for how I reacted.
I will always have a scar to remind me of my sin. The beauty in this is that I am reminded that Jesus still wears the scars for our sins. We are never going to be perfect on this side of heaven, and we need what He did on the cross to heal us, to forgive us.
The next time you are being tempted with a bad attitude, don't do what I did, rather begin to praise God for what He has done. Having an attitude of praise will help change any attitude.
Genevieve Wilson is a happily married stay at home, home-schooling mum of 3, whose passion is to see people come to know Jesus. She worked 8 years as a missionary with Youth with a Mission (YWAM). She has a heart for justice.
Genevieve Wilson's previous articles may be viewed at http://www.pressserviceinternational.org/genevieve-wilson.html