Lately I have been living in a fantasy world. I've been escaping into the characters of the drama series I've been watching on TV. I was enjoying my fantasy world so much that when the series came to an end, it brought me down. I began to wonder what I would look forward to now that the series had ended.
As I think about this now, it sounds silly, pathetic, embarrassing and even laughable. How did I get to such a state?
How did I get here?
I have been evaluating my life. Where I've come from, where I'm currently at and where I hope to be in the near future. I've been wondering whether I can say I have succeeded. But I soon found myself focusing so much on the things I don't have that I began to feel quite discontent.
I thought the way to escape my discontent was to engross myself in watching things that I enjoy. I wanted the pleasure that comes with being entertained and at least for a moment, I could be anyone else but myself.
Time went past and I was still in a state of discontent. Clearly this fantasy world I had been living in wasn't solving the problem. I had to come back and face reality again.
Worldly pursuits are to blame
I began to question why I was feeling so dissatisfied. I could blame the world for constantly promoting the illusion that happiness or contentment is attained through possessions, status, power and pleasure.
After all, consumerism for instance, has made it its priority to make us feel dissatisfied with whatever we've got. The promotion of extramarital sex with promises of pleasure without consequence is prevalent in the world today. It's also a common belief that we will attain a higher standing in society if we accumulate wealth or that success is only achieved when we've climbed to the top of the corporate ladder.
Empty Promises
This world seduces us into believing that we will acquire happiness through such things like our achievements, pleasure, wealth and possessions. The truth is I fell into this trap and it was wearing me down.
Recently I read Revelation 18 and I was reminded of the source of true joy and fulfilment. Revelation 18 talks about the destruction of Babylon. A city that worshipped anything other than God, was highly absorbed by riches and luxuries and had become a dwelling place for demons and a prison for every foul spirit. Kings, merchants and those that earned their living from the sea, weep and mourn over the fall of Babylon. They had grown rich from Babylon's excessive luxuries but in the space of an hour, they lose everything.
This passage made me think about what is important in my life. Should I be dwelling on things that are temporary and that I can lose in an instant? Or should I focus on things that are by far greater and fulfilling?
Eternal joy and fulfilment
All this time I had been trying to find joy and fulfilment in something that never satisfies. I had allowed worldly influences to seduce me into believing that I needed more than just God. I've been a Christian for so many years and yet I had to be reminded again that true joy and contentment can only be found in Jesus Christ. I had somehow lost sight of who I was in Christ.
I have begun to count my blessings again. I am grateful to God for what I have and trust he will provide for my needs. I realise I need soul food. I need to daily feed on the word of God that nourishes my spirit and sustains me.
Status driven self-indulgent lives, retail therapy, drugs and alcohol, fame and fortune only provide empty promises. Nothing will ever compare to the eternal joy that is found in Jesus Christ.
Kandima Awendila was born in Mozambique and lives and works as an IT Service Desk Engineer on the Gold Coast.
Kandima Awendila's archive of articles may be viewed at www.pressserviceinternational.org/kandima-awendila.html