First and foremost, don't feel guilty because you're a Minister and suffering depression – it can happen to any of us! Next make sure you ask for help, don't be tempted to suffer in silence –it only makes things worse. Talk openly and honestly to your spouse and family, let them be part of the healing process. Find a trusted friend and tell them what a happening to you is. A burden shared really is a burden halved. Talk honestly to your doctor, tell them all your symptoms and don't be afraid to accept their professional help. There are a number of anti-depressants currently available that will help you begin to feel better in about six weeks or so. You should talk to your line –managers in ministry. This is not easy for some pastors because they fear that this might jeopardise their future careers. However, your health is really important, so ask for time off to recover, for support from the Church for you and your family, and don't be tempted to get back in harness too soon!
Preventing Burnout or Meltdown
To prevent burnout in the future think about the shape of your life and ministry. The Greeks had a saying we need to take note of here, 'The bow that is always kept bent will loose its power'.
Make sure that you build in oases of time and space for you to be refreshed and restored, 'to unstring your bow'. This will mean saying no to some apparently important things and some apparently important people. Pencil in a regular time in your diary each week when you have an appointment with yourself, or your spouse and children. Don't feel guilty when you just 'kick back' and relax. Take more time walking through the park 'kicking the leaves' or sitting on your favourite bench just staring at the sea. Force yourself to slow down. Take a look at the dials on the dashboard of your life – is the 'rev – counter' in the 'red zone'? If so take steps to deliberately slow your life down.
Let our souls catch with our bodies
In his book, Restoring Your Spiritual Passion George MacDonald illustrates this idea of enforcing a slower pace of life. He sites the story told by Mrs Lettie Cowman in her wonderful book, Springs in the Desert. It is taken from African Colonial History. In the deep jungles of Africa, a traveller was making a long trek. Coolies had been engaged from a tribe to carry the loads. The first day they marched rapidly and went far. The traveller had high hopes of a speedy journey. But the next morning these jungle tribesmen refused to move. For some strange reason they just sat and rested.
On inquiry as to the reason for this strange behaviour, the traveller was informed that they had gone too fast the first day, and that they were now waiting for their souls to catch up with their bodies. Maybe we need some 'soul' catch-up time.
Words of encouragement
The good news here is that God doesn't give up on you if you're stressed out, not even if you're a minister! He wants you to 'wait upon him to renew your strength'. He wants you to know that he never snuffs out a spluttering wick or throws away are bruised reed. God wants Ministers and all his people experiencing emotional meltdown to come to the Jesus for help. William Barclay translates Matthew 11:28-30 in this helpful way: 'Come to me all you who are exhausted…come to me all you who are weighed down by your heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke …exchange your pressure for my peace'.
Peter Meadows ends his book Pressure Points with these insightful words, 'For many of us, the heart of our failure to find peace under pressure is because we fail to grasp that we have a loving heavenly Father- who cares.' The depressed Minister need not feel isolated and abandoned; God's care is not nullified by dark times. Better times will come; I am personally proof of that!
Why am I discouraged?
Why so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again-
My Saviour and my God!
- Psalm 42:11 (New Living Translation)
Read the first and second part of this three-part series here and here
The author Dr Alan Palmer is Head of Religious Studies and Head of Scholars and Oxbridge at Culford School. He would welcome feedback from readers. He can be contacted at Apalmer@culford.co.uk