This statistic indicates drastic changes are needed in marriages and I would like to propose one practice that could decrease these figures… romance. Not just the mushy stuff with high emotions but also practical romance that makes your partner feel loved and appreciated.
There are only a few days of the year that are generally celebrated as a day to romance your partner; they are usually Valentine's Day, anniversaries and birthdays.
Apart from these often commercialised celebrations, I believe it's the other 300+ days of the year we need to make additional effort to show our love towards our spouse.
My wife boasts I am a romantic and so it's by her authority I am writing this article.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary gives one definition of romantic as "marked by expressions of love or affection".
I think this is a good explanation of the word, but if we pull this apart a bit more we can discover some keys to what romance is and then take a more active approach to live this out in our marriages.
The words 'marked by' suggests being romantic is characterised or shown through some sort of expression that indicates one's feelings towards another. I believe these 'expressions' are our words and actions toward our spouse and must be unique and genuine to our personality, our relationship and our other half.
For example, I will buy my wife fair trade chocolate rather than Lindt or gerbera daisies instead of roses because I know these are the presents she will personally receive with much more joy, than if I bought a typical 'romantic' chocolate bar or flower.
The '5 love languages' book by Gary Chapman is a way of categorising different ways of interpreting and expressing love and is a great tool for couples to discover the ways they most easily express love and how they interpret expressions of love towards them.
Reading through this book, or simply looking at the definitions of the categories Dr Chapman has published, will help you show appreciation of your partner in ways they will receive the most. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
I believe this is the most valuable 'gift' you can give your partner and should be a regular occurrence rather than a one off surprise. We should not expect this has to cost money every time but can stem from individual creativity and a genuine desire to bless our partner.
To keep the Merriam-Webster definition of 'romantic' pure I would like to add another sentence, "These expressions of our love are not motivated by a desire to receive anything in return, but solely to bless one's partner."
Putting this together we can define 'romantic' more practically as "Shown by words and actions towards one's partner, in a way they easily interpret and receive as a display of your love and affection. These expressions of love are not motivated by a desire to receive anything in return, but solely to bless one's partner."
Whether you apply these tips to your marriage in an attempt to add a little spark to a dying fire or add another log to an already raging furnace, romance is essential to build long and enjoyable marriages.
Being romantic is a choice and selfless; it is unique to those involved and may provide one way to rebuild the marriage covenant within our society.
For some ideas on being romantic this is a good website to have a look at: www.1001waystoberomantic.com/romantic_tips.htm
Tim Wilson is married with two children, having served as a missionary with YWAM in Brisbane for many years he has relocated to Canada in mission.
Tim Wilson's archive of articles may be viewed at: www.pressserviceinternational.org/tim-wilson.html